Posts Tagged ‘troll

01
Aug
09

Troll of the week #4: the registry is good fun.

I’ve been AWOL for a while so let’s have a bumper pack of trolls for our troubles. How many Windows users ever edit the registry, I wonder? Probably the number is very few. Unfortunately, more people should know how to do this, at least, as editing the registry is often the only way to completely obliterate programmes you have removed. Virus scanners are notorious for this. Still, any how, here’s somebody defending the very worst aspects of Windows. It’s from yet another SJVN article, this one about Canonical offering paid support for desktop users. You wouldn’t expect Windows trolls to care, but apparently not.

Continue reading ‘Troll of the week #4: the registry is good fun.’

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19
Jul
09

Troll of the week #3: something lacking

Here’s a nice troll from a rather funny article entitled “Linux Sucks“:

Anonymous July 18, 2009 10:26 AM
[…]

So again, why would you ever want to use Linux, its old, its clunky, and if you use it you lose the advantage of having windows and all its apps, and massive app base, and you are restricted to only using apps available for linux. Which are few a well lacking in quality. (lets be honest here please).

One day you guys will realise that free is not everything, and if your product is free and crap it wont fly. Linux has been going over 17 years now and UNIX far longer. and Yet still your on the bottom of the pool and you see to be very still ?

the other main problem is the linux “community” its degenerated into a cult, and zealots, who think the universe revolves around Linux.

Pretty good effort, there, buddy. The word zealot is presumably the word of the now, seeing as it’s written endlessly these days. It’s always been a favourite word for trolls. It has religous connotations, which certainly helps people characterise Linux users as crazy bastards. And don’t even think about advocating actually using Linux, of all things. Don’t try that unless you want a “peoeple can decide for themselves stop pushingyourbeliefsdopwnpeople’sthroats” speech. Shut it, you morons. This is the internet. YOU CANNOT EMAIL SOMETHING INTO SOMEBODY’S THROAT. Except cum. Sure, esex is every troll’s favourite pastime. That’s probably why so many people come across this blog searching for “hair in boobs” and “reel life girlfriends”. They want a taste of something they can never have, which is silly because throats don’t have any tastebuds. I want hair in boobs, too. It’s only natural.

But seriously, it’s got to the point now where saying something like, “I like Linux,” you will be interrupted with “–FUCK YOU ZEALOT!!!!!” All right, so I’m over the top. Well fuck you. Nobody told you to read this blog. And on to our next quote,

Well fuck you. Nobody told you to read this blog.

What an arsehole, trolling his own audience like that.

And finally for our last troll, I can’t tell if this one is serious or not, but considering this guy was spamming up the tubes with his bile, I’m guessing he’s pretty genuine. If true, then he’s a cunt. From the Linux Today talkback section of an article on Penguin Pete’s blog, in this exerpt he is defending dodgy business practices:

Starting from Injuns versus Settlers, slavery and a certain protracted bar-fight over whether that ought to be legal, then skipping to the mercantile “robber barons”, strike-breaking, the way US car manufacturers hobbled competition by the nations’ railroads, the waterfront mafia, the way in which Standard Oil used its commercial clout, “Ma Bell”, the development of anti-trust legislation and its use on Microsoft by Judge Jackson (you can Google for it).

If you do, you may find a pattern. Which is that ethics has no place (and never had) in US business or politics. Nowadays it does have a place, which is to serve (nowadays) as a convenient cop-out in case of legal trouble in the form of a “Code of Conduct” (You know, that tome filled with Maoist gibberish that your company adopted along with its “mission statement”).

As long as something isn’t demonstrably illegal *and* so visible as to attract prosecution, it’s something that will be used. Over and over again. And that’s what Microsoft is doing, Ok?

And by the way, since when was using your commercial clout to disincentivize “the channel” or public officials from offering other people’s products “illegal” eh?

I don’t even need to make fun of this one. There is a word that describes the capability to live to a set of principles, and respecting and abiding moral values. Something this guy lacks. The word you’re looking for is integrity.

12
Jul
09

Troll of the week #2: you guys need some new arguments

A few contenders this week.The first comes from the comments section of Computer World’s analysis of Google’s Chrome operating system.

Sorry, But Linux IS NOT Going to EVER…

Submitted by ITGrouch on July 10, 2009 – 14:26.

be a dominant OS player on the desktop. Linux as a server OS is robust and works well. However, Linux will NEVER be able to overtake Windows because the average Joe is not going to fuss over kernel recompiles, terminal sessions, etc. to get whatever flavor of Linux working on the desktop. Ubuntu is close, but still, no cigar.

Believe me, I would LOVE to see Linux overtake Windows on the desktop, but no matter how hard one blows the horn, it is not going to happen…period.

What was that? I can’t hear you because I’m too busy recompiling my kernel! Let’s do the motherfucking timewarp cause this guy’s straight out of 1995! Fail troll is fail. The next troll on our list isn’t trolling about anything in particular, he’s just being a cunt.

I think linux fucking sucks. (3.00 / 2) (#6)
by Del Griffith on Fri Feb 08, 2008 at 04:46:01 AM EST

No wait, who am I kidding?  I know it fucking sucks.

If you really want to be a UNIX weanie, just get OSX & be done with it.

Otherwise, get Vista Ultimate OEM, and install the SUA.

Some of us have better thins to do then compile codecs.

You tell em, boy! I absolutely fucking hate having to recompile my audio codecs every time I want to listen to my music. Such a pain! This guy is actually a pretty legendary troll, and he’s well aware of it. So I can’t quite bring myself to hate him. You just know that somewhere in the world, somebody is reading that comment whilst stale Cheetos are crumbling out of his mouth, sticking with the saliva on his chin, and laughing to himself, “Yeah, Lunix users are such fags durrp.” Successful troll is successful. Well done.

05
Jul
09

Troll of the week

This gem comes from the comments section of Steven J. Vaughan-Nichols‘s recent Computer World article about Linux netbooks being sold at Toys’r’Us:

There is NO profit in Open Source Software
Submitted by Anonymous on July 4, 2009 – 12:40 P.M.

Hey, business idiots, these guys sell boxes. They don’t sell service. They sell boxes that have hardware. They sell boxes that have an OS. They sell boxes that contain software.

If they sell hardware with Windows, they can charge whatever they want for the OS and make a pretty good profit.

If they sell a box with Linux, they are specifically forbidden by the GPL to make any profit on the sale. Read the license.

You specifically said, “I never pay for software or operating systems.” Why should they even bother sell to you? You specifically eliminate their highest sales margine products and ability to make money. They sell to the crowd that allows them to make money, and that isn’t you.

Challange here:

Go create a business based on Linux and see how long you last. Bet it never even gets off the ground.

Best part is that you’ll blame Microsoft for your failure.




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