Check the memory usage of your favourite application in style. Grep the output of ps!

Code:

function ram() { ps auxf | grep $1 | grep -v grep | awk '{sum=sum+$6}; END {print sum+1023/1024}' ; }

Append the time and date to the start of your files.

Code:

function datestamp()
	{
	for x in $@; do
		if [ -e $x ]; then
			mv $x $(date +'%F')-$x
		else
			echo "$x? File doesn't exist, fool."
		fi
	done
	}

Install, remove, autoremove and purge. Now renamed Loadry, unloadry, laundry and nuke, respectively.

Code:

function loadry () {
        if [ $(whoami) != "root" ] ; then
           sudo apt-get install $@
        else
           apt-get install $@
        fi
      }

function unloadry() {
	if [ $(whoami) != "root" ] ; then
	   sudo apt-get remove $@
	else
	   apt-get remove $@
	fi
      }

function laundry() {
	if [ $(whoami) != "root" ] ; then
	   sudo apt-get autoremove $@
	else
	   apt-get autoremove $@
	fi
      }

function nuke() {
	if [ $(whoami) != "root" ] ; then
	  sudo apt-get autoremove --purge $@
	else
	  apt-get autoremove --purge $@
	fi
      }

For anybody who followed the Futurama tutorial, here’s a little something extra, just for you.

Code:

function woots() { #!/bin/bash
  cows=(/usr/share/cowsay/cows/*.cow)
  num=${#cows[@]}
  ((num=RANDOM%num))
  randcow=`echo ${cows[$num]}`
  if [[ $randcow = "/usr/share/cowsay/cows/leela.cow" ]] || [[ $randcow = "/usr/share/cowsay/cows/fry.cow" ]] || [[ $randcow = "/usr/share/cowsay/cows/bender.cow" ]];
    then futurama;
  else
    phrase=`fortune -a`
    cowsay -f $randcow $phrase;
  fi;
}

Ah shucks, maybe someone will find this nonsense useful some day.